Ghomeshi To Return To Q On Tuesday

Following Jian Ghomeshi’s trial, in which the former superstar host of Q was acquitted on four counts of sexual assault and one count of choking, the CBC has issued an apology to its former star host and offered him his job back.

Herbert Lacroix, CBC President, issued the following statement: “At the CBC we always seek to offer the appearance of a non-discriminatory workplace and when the accusations first arose at Q, we felt that terminating our relationship with Jian was our only choice.  The evidence he showed us in October 2014, was perhaps, just a little extreme for our tastes, but clearly everything was consensual.  Everyone at the CBC welcomes Jian back with open arms and we are ready to be more accepting of his sexual activities.”

Lacroix also noted that salary negotiations with Ghomeshi shouldn’t be a problem because of CBC’s new funding.  “Clearly our strategy of hiring fresh-faced, quasi-famous, youthful Canadians has paid off and with our new funding we our going to continue this strategy,” he noted.  Lacroix underlined this point by stating that “Justin Trudeau’s decision to restore funding to the CBC gives us plenty of money to continue this policy and we will start by offering Jian serious compensation in an attempt to right the wrongs committed against him by both the CBC specifically, and Canadian society generally.”

Lacroix, 60, went further by stating that Arif Noorani, a Q producer who left the show shortly after Ghomeshi was fired, was already back and working on a new monologue for the Tuesday show.  Noorani, who was rehired on March 29 posted a cryptic Tweet reading “Happy Tuesday?” that same day.  Peter Mansbridge also Tweeted a large poster being painted onto one of the walls of CBC’s Toronto headquarters.

A number of female staffers at Q also expressed excitement that Ghomeshi was returning. One employee, in her early twenties, stated that she “has always liked Jian,” and that “if he still wanted to go on that date with her she was free next weekend”.  Another female employee said that she and her female colleagues had “nothing to fear,” as they “know that all the women who said those terrible things about Jian were liars”.

Even more tellingly, Shad, the current host of q, was dismissed from his position and offered a comment, but nobody was listening.